+++

“Happy Valentines Day”

“No”

“No?”

“Just no”

“What’s wrong with Valentines Day? You have a boyfriend!”

“Yeah, so?”

“So!”

“Valentines Day promotes fat”

“Excuse me?”

“Every single today will be lured into a false sense of hope within the confectionary aisle. Combine this with the vast quantities of other food and drink they’ll consume in front of Bridget Jones alone tonight and bam”

“Ah”

“I don’t like fat people”